Oh my goodness I understand. I've lived in three different countries outside the US and I've studied both Russian and Spanish. I saw when I could put aside my discomfort (I also felt/feel the same as you) I got further with specifically my Spanish. People were kind and understanding and my confidence grew. I also struggle with anxiety and worry and many times I've imagined the worse case scenario and emotionally dealt with it and then once I've done the dreaded thing it's fine. I loved what you said on the Q&A vlog that to live life on your own terms and a fulfilling life we have to be ok with being uncomfortable and putting ourselves out there. I personally know this to be true in my life. People may think you are crazy but it's important to live life with meaning and purpose.
It's a relief when other people (especially those who don't actually visibly seem to need it) confess that they have therapy. Reassuring when people show they're vulnerable too. Curious Jessica to know if you use online talk therapy or have you found a French therapist? Mine is an English lady in Normandy but I'm wondering if it's as effective online as in person?
I love reading about your experiences with the French language, because I've been facing many of the same fears and anxieties... But in German. I moved to Germany a year ago with my husband and, being a freelancer who works from home, I feel constantly afraid of going outside, working at a cafe like I always dreamed of and even talking to people feels daunting as heck because my German is basically non-existent. I know I should push myself and I'm planning to get back to my language studies as well as throwing myself into new situations here, but the fear can be so crippling sometimes! How did you "put yourself out there more", especially in the beginning?
Ugh, that feeling in your stomach when you try to avoid something. Making that call, opening up the washing mashine you left full 3 days ago... I wish we had a switch in our heads for this.
As someone who has intense bouts of anxiety at times, it was reassuring to read your description of the “anxiety trap”. I hadn’t heard that term before but it absolutely makes sense 🌿
I've noticed since the lockdowns that my anxiety around things like appointments, mainly hair or dentists for some reason, has gone through the roof. If it wasn't for the fact that I really really needed to get my hair cut I wouldn't have gone through with my appointment yesterday. I suffer from IBS and my tum was doing all sorts of weird things about 20 minutes before I was due to leave the house for my hair appointment. I almost cancelled as I just didn't know whether I could trust my tum. I googled the hairdresser and checked facilities...yep, they had a toilet. As someone with IBS that is a real priority when going anywhere. I drove there, still unsure how it was going to go. I walked in and was met with a friendly 'hello, take a seat, I'll be with you in a minute', and just like that I relaxed and the appointment went well. I didn't even think about the toilet or how my tum would be. I had a lovely head massage as my hair was washed, and I was so pleased with how my cut turned out. I booked another appointment for February and I'm really hoping my anxiety takes a back seat for that one! Sending love, Heather x
I really needed to hear this message today, I feel the same right now as I'm looking for a room in Australia for next year and it's nerve wracking, I'm taking the sign to leap and write a post on a local FB group for rentals, let's see what it brings!
I’m very like this with phone calls I’m not sure why but I do find the more I do it the less of a thing it is. I usually just press the call button before I have chance to think about it otherwise if I think too much I could put it off for months!
I studied languages at uni 20 years ago but whenever I go to France or Spain now, it’s like it all leaves my brain and I become soooooo shy about it. I’m embarrassed that I have degree and can’t order lunch! We went to Spain recently and my husband told me I was being too hard on myself and to just make the mistakes. I forced myself to speak and by the end of the trip I was much more confident and wanted to stay longer to talk more!
I hear you. Anxiety has been utterly debilitating for me in the past. Therapy helped. Yoga helped even more. My attempts at self-care keep it in check, mostly. It’s a continuous balancing act. One I am far from perfecting but I try to get better at it nonetheless.
From my experience when learning to speak another language in the country is that you have to just go for it; be prepared to make mistakes and laugh at them; most people are willing to meet you more than half way, they are just glad that you are trying to speak their language. Speaking on the phone is one of the hardest ways as you can't see the other person and you can't use your hands!!!! Well done!
Oh my goodness I understand. I've lived in three different countries outside the US and I've studied both Russian and Spanish. I saw when I could put aside my discomfort (I also felt/feel the same as you) I got further with specifically my Spanish. People were kind and understanding and my confidence grew. I also struggle with anxiety and worry and many times I've imagined the worse case scenario and emotionally dealt with it and then once I've done the dreaded thing it's fine. I loved what you said on the Q&A vlog that to live life on your own terms and a fulfilling life we have to be ok with being uncomfortable and putting ourselves out there. I personally know this to be true in my life. People may think you are crazy but it's important to live life with meaning and purpose.
It's a relief when other people (especially those who don't actually visibly seem to need it) confess that they have therapy. Reassuring when people show they're vulnerable too. Curious Jessica to know if you use online talk therapy or have you found a French therapist? Mine is an English lady in Normandy but I'm wondering if it's as effective online as in person?
I love reading about your experiences with the French language, because I've been facing many of the same fears and anxieties... But in German. I moved to Germany a year ago with my husband and, being a freelancer who works from home, I feel constantly afraid of going outside, working at a cafe like I always dreamed of and even talking to people feels daunting as heck because my German is basically non-existent. I know I should push myself and I'm planning to get back to my language studies as well as throwing myself into new situations here, but the fear can be so crippling sometimes! How did you "put yourself out there more", especially in the beginning?
Ugh, that feeling in your stomach when you try to avoid something. Making that call, opening up the washing mashine you left full 3 days ago... I wish we had a switch in our heads for this.
As someone who has intense bouts of anxiety at times, it was reassuring to read your description of the “anxiety trap”. I hadn’t heard that term before but it absolutely makes sense 🌿
I've noticed since the lockdowns that my anxiety around things like appointments, mainly hair or dentists for some reason, has gone through the roof. If it wasn't for the fact that I really really needed to get my hair cut I wouldn't have gone through with my appointment yesterday. I suffer from IBS and my tum was doing all sorts of weird things about 20 minutes before I was due to leave the house for my hair appointment. I almost cancelled as I just didn't know whether I could trust my tum. I googled the hairdresser and checked facilities...yep, they had a toilet. As someone with IBS that is a real priority when going anywhere. I drove there, still unsure how it was going to go. I walked in and was met with a friendly 'hello, take a seat, I'll be with you in a minute', and just like that I relaxed and the appointment went well. I didn't even think about the toilet or how my tum would be. I had a lovely head massage as my hair was washed, and I was so pleased with how my cut turned out. I booked another appointment for February and I'm really hoping my anxiety takes a back seat for that one! Sending love, Heather x
I really needed to hear this message today, I feel the same right now as I'm looking for a room in Australia for next year and it's nerve wracking, I'm taking the sign to leap and write a post on a local FB group for rentals, let's see what it brings!
I’m very like this with phone calls I’m not sure why but I do find the more I do it the less of a thing it is. I usually just press the call button before I have chance to think about it otherwise if I think too much I could put it off for months!
I studied languages at uni 20 years ago but whenever I go to France or Spain now, it’s like it all leaves my brain and I become soooooo shy about it. I’m embarrassed that I have degree and can’t order lunch! We went to Spain recently and my husband told me I was being too hard on myself and to just make the mistakes. I forced myself to speak and by the end of the trip I was much more confident and wanted to stay longer to talk more!
I hear you. Anxiety has been utterly debilitating for me in the past. Therapy helped. Yoga helped even more. My attempts at self-care keep it in check, mostly. It’s a continuous balancing act. One I am far from perfecting but I try to get better at it nonetheless.
From my experience when learning to speak another language in the country is that you have to just go for it; be prepared to make mistakes and laugh at them; most people are willing to meet you more than half way, they are just glad that you are trying to speak their language. Speaking on the phone is one of the hardest ways as you can't see the other person and you can't use your hands!!!! Well done!