Like you asked : I am really attached to my daughters .. we were inseparable at one time and of course they grew up and started having lovers and friends. My older one still lives with me most of the days of the week. My younger one lives away with her partner and her mother and a cat. Her family of choice.
Now, I believed that I was attached to my daughters so much ! But as I grow older I realise that I was attached to my role in their lives !!! I had got quite estranged from the younger one for nearly two years.
I have now learnt to be patient and wait and wait for when she will connect. It is so joyous when she does .. and I am not pained by her silence or absence any more! It took a lot of tears, introspection and hard work to practise attachment in detachment. A very important Indian philosophy .. but I’m no student not practitioner. Just tried it on my own.
I am so glad you found YOUR PARIS, at YOUR TIME, and have learnt to let go and practice attachment in detachment. Love always,
You must know how incredible the timing of these wise and beautiful words is! Literally feel exactly what you are saying and taking to heart your wisdom of “remedy” by letting go of outcomes, projections, and self-expectations. Thank you, thank you! I will hold on to this message for those days when I need a reminder.
Lovely piece, I particularly resonated with the last sentence around thinking less. As a chronic overthinker, I tend to place too much pressure on "doing" rather than "being". I am really trying to let go more over the summer, and be open to experiences and opportunities, in order to just see where this takes me. Thank you for your wise words! :)
Ooh I recognise this in me! I dreamt and planned for my own business for 3 years but then when I started it, it wasn’t like what I thought it would be. I actually disliked it! In the end I realised it didn’t suit my personality and I preferred a job. It was so weird though because I dreamt of it so much!
and I can imagine how that must have felt. It's totally ok for things not to work out right? But when we're the ones who are sabotaging them, letting go and just enjoying the experience can make such a difference and lighten the load
Totally. I had also retrained for 3 years prior to starting the business as well so it was a real swallowing of my pride to say actually this isn’t for me. It ‘looked’ like a weird decision from the outside but felt right on the inside and I don’t regret it. I possibly regret the time I wasted but that thought path doesn’t lead anywhere good!! If I didn’t try self employment I would always have wondered.
I hear you with all of this, we are planning a move to Spain from Canada early next year and I am trying very hard to stay open to whatever comes rather than going into this with specific expectations. It feels similar to major holidays and events, where I find myself happiest if I go in without any expectation or attachment.
Urgh, I relate to this feeling so much! Things so rarely work out the way we envisage them (good and bad) and this is a great reminder to loosen the grip we have on our vision for things and just go along for the ride. Loved it, Jess! 💗
I adore this Jessica, I can understand why you fell in love with Paris. It’s as though everyone should at some time in their life. I got engaged there and returned again married. It was so lovely to reexplore the same places through a different lens, which feels like what we are all doing at the moment. 💫🙏
Oh ok! I don’t know how exciting it is for anyone else. We stayed in Bastille and I remember the room was black and white, very chic. My husband was very twitchy and was urging us out the door for dinner. We had a lovely meal and walked by the river and had an ice cream. More twitchiness. We stood on this bridge and he said “Are you happy?” To which I replied “Well, I’m a bit full!” He asked me to marry him, before I could carry on. I remember getting the metro back and holding on tight to the ring, because it was a bit too big. Thanks for bringing back such a lovely memory. 💫🙏❤️
I totally agree with what you said here. I think that while we have control over our lives, our plans oftentimes don’t work out the way that we thought they would, and the best things in life are surprises. I feel like life is a balancing act between us gripping the steering wheel, all the while, the universe is gripping it, too. A writer featured in one of my favorite movies, called Dan in Real Life once said:
“Dear Readers, for most of you, this is my first column in your paper. In the future, I will be answering your questions, but today I want to break from my usual format and talk to you about the subject of plans. Not so much my plan for this column, but life plans, and how we all make them. And how we hope that our kids make good, smart, safe plans of their own. But if we're really honest with ourselves, our plans usually don't work out as we had hoped. So instead of asking our young people "What are you plans? What do you plan to do with your life?" maybe we should tell them this: Plan… to be surprised.”
Like you asked : I am really attached to my daughters .. we were inseparable at one time and of course they grew up and started having lovers and friends. My older one still lives with me most of the days of the week. My younger one lives away with her partner and her mother and a cat. Her family of choice.
Now, I believed that I was attached to my daughters so much ! But as I grow older I realise that I was attached to my role in their lives !!! I had got quite estranged from the younger one for nearly two years.
I have now learnt to be patient and wait and wait for when she will connect. It is so joyous when she does .. and I am not pained by her silence or absence any more! It took a lot of tears, introspection and hard work to practise attachment in detachment. A very important Indian philosophy .. but I’m no student not practitioner. Just tried it on my own.
I am so glad you found YOUR PARIS, at YOUR TIME, and have learnt to let go and practice attachment in detachment. Love always,
Nilakshi
You must know how incredible the timing of these wise and beautiful words is! Literally feel exactly what you are saying and taking to heart your wisdom of “remedy” by letting go of outcomes, projections, and self-expectations. Thank you, thank you! I will hold on to this message for those days when I need a reminder.
So pleased it spoke to you 💕
Lovely piece, I particularly resonated with the last sentence around thinking less. As a chronic overthinker, I tend to place too much pressure on "doing" rather than "being". I am really trying to let go more over the summer, and be open to experiences and opportunities, in order to just see where this takes me. Thank you for your wise words! :)
glad you liked it. I live in my head too, so I totally get it. Sounds like you've got an exciting summer ahead!
Ooh I recognise this in me! I dreamt and planned for my own business for 3 years but then when I started it, it wasn’t like what I thought it would be. I actually disliked it! In the end I realised it didn’t suit my personality and I preferred a job. It was so weird though because I dreamt of it so much!
and I can imagine how that must have felt. It's totally ok for things not to work out right? But when we're the ones who are sabotaging them, letting go and just enjoying the experience can make such a difference and lighten the load
Totally. I had also retrained for 3 years prior to starting the business as well so it was a real swallowing of my pride to say actually this isn’t for me. It ‘looked’ like a weird decision from the outside but felt right on the inside and I don’t regret it. I possibly regret the time I wasted but that thought path doesn’t lead anywhere good!! If I didn’t try self employment I would always have wondered.
I hear you with all of this, we are planning a move to Spain from Canada early next year and I am trying very hard to stay open to whatever comes rather than going into this with specific expectations. It feels similar to major holidays and events, where I find myself happiest if I go in without any expectation or attachment.
Also how exciting 🙌🏻
100%!!!
Urgh, I relate to this feeling so much! Things so rarely work out the way we envisage them (good and bad) and this is a great reminder to loosen the grip we have on our vision for things and just go along for the ride. Loved it, Jess! 💗
❤️❤️❤️ so pleased!
Think I'll journal on these questions this week - thinking about all of these things a lot around this new moon! 🌑
I adore this Jessica, I can understand why you fell in love with Paris. It’s as though everyone should at some time in their life. I got engaged there and returned again married. It was so lovely to reexplore the same places through a different lens, which feels like what we are all doing at the moment. 💫🙏
I LOVE that visual 💕💕 I want the ENTIRE engagement story please ...if you’re willing to share??
Oh ok! I don’t know how exciting it is for anyone else. We stayed in Bastille and I remember the room was black and white, very chic. My husband was very twitchy and was urging us out the door for dinner. We had a lovely meal and walked by the river and had an ice cream. More twitchiness. We stood on this bridge and he said “Are you happy?” To which I replied “Well, I’m a bit full!” He asked me to marry him, before I could carry on. I remember getting the metro back and holding on tight to the ring, because it was a bit too big. Thanks for bringing back such a lovely memory. 💫🙏❤️
oh this is WONDERFUL! Thank you sooooooo much for sharing ❤️❤️❤️
Love engagement stories l! Thank you for sharing 🤗🌺
Thank you Olay!
Hi Jessica,
I totally agree with what you said here. I think that while we have control over our lives, our plans oftentimes don’t work out the way that we thought they would, and the best things in life are surprises. I feel like life is a balancing act between us gripping the steering wheel, all the while, the universe is gripping it, too. A writer featured in one of my favorite movies, called Dan in Real Life once said:
“Dear Readers, for most of you, this is my first column in your paper. In the future, I will be answering your questions, but today I want to break from my usual format and talk to you about the subject of plans. Not so much my plan for this column, but life plans, and how we all make them. And how we hope that our kids make good, smart, safe plans of their own. But if we're really honest with ourselves, our plans usually don't work out as we had hoped. So instead of asking our young people "What are you plans? What do you plan to do with your life?" maybe we should tell them this: Plan… to be surprised.”
❤️
Loved this and no truer or wiser words were ever spoken. Really enjoyed hearing your reading very much.
Somehow need to bookmark this or print it out and hang it on my wall so I can always be reminded.