Beautiful and extremely important words and messages here. “be careful not to craft an identity for yourself out of this pain” So insightful and it is tempting when we are grieving to identify solely with our grieving self and not with who we might yet become 🤍
This is beautiful Jessica. I've been divorced now for 15 years and it broke my heart. I did want a partner, and have a now grown up child (18), but I never met the right one. I was great to have some romances and I still hope I might meet someone one day. But it's nice to not feel I need it.
I agree with you that it's close friends who are lasting the distance and who I trust and enjoy time with most. And they don't drain me!
Single living can be very happy, just like many marriages can be. We all have to find what works best for us.
Jessica, I love this post. I have so many similar thoughts feelings,questions and internal sentiments; Thank you. Thank you also to the person who presented the question! < 3
Well written. The older I get the more I love my alone time. Happiness comes from within. I have never thought "I won't be happy until I have a partner. A house. A better paying job". It is a target we could always be striving for and never attaining. So what I'd never be happy? Creating the life I want starts with me. A partner would be a bonus, but not something that would make or break my plan.
Experience during and after heartbreak is unique to the feeler and chasing the elusive Happiness sensation can be futile.
Feeling happy will be in those tiny pieces that you must recognise, aloud if you want to! I’ve lived alone for 25 years and didn’t meet the right person until I was 40.
We still didn’t live together for 7 more years and for me, driving home to my clean white cosy cottage from his chaotic untidy house was a feeling of aaaaahhhh lovely.
Freedom is absolutely delicious. Love & connection don’t only arrive with a romantic partner, self love fills your soul & changes you. This life wisdom you gain also adds to your story and look at all of us in this thread, we’ve all experienced it.
And then ironically you’ll probably meet someone right when you’re at your most fulfilled 😁 but you’re a new version of yourself now and that shifts everything.
"Loneliness is an illusion because the truth is we're always alone." I respectfully disagree. Since I was sixteen (I'm now sixty-nine) I've NEVER been alone, choosing at a young age to find and fill the hole in my soul. Sure there have been ups and downs, endless joys and many disappointments - but never loneliness. "Search and you will find, ask and it shall be given to you!" Let me know if I can help...
Meaningful connection is key. Having a partner does not guarantee this. It takes courage search for this type of connection, for someone who wants it as much as you do, but if you find it, this is the ultimate prize.
Beautiful and extremely important words and messages here. “be careful not to craft an identity for yourself out of this pain” So insightful and it is tempting when we are grieving to identify solely with our grieving self and not with who we might yet become 🤍
This is beautiful Jessica. I've been divorced now for 15 years and it broke my heart. I did want a partner, and have a now grown up child (18), but I never met the right one. I was great to have some romances and I still hope I might meet someone one day. But it's nice to not feel I need it.
I agree with you that it's close friends who are lasting the distance and who I trust and enjoy time with most. And they don't drain me!
Single living can be very happy, just like many marriages can be. We all have to find what works best for us.
I appreciate your writing! 🩷
Jessica, I love this post. I have so many similar thoughts feelings,questions and internal sentiments; Thank you. Thank you also to the person who presented the question! < 3
🙏🏼❤️🙏🏼❤️
“Loneliness is an illusion because the truth is we're always alone.“ - Wow, that‘s a powerful reframe!
right?!
Well written. The older I get the more I love my alone time. Happiness comes from within. I have never thought "I won't be happy until I have a partner. A house. A better paying job". It is a target we could always be striving for and never attaining. So what I'd never be happy? Creating the life I want starts with me. A partner would be a bonus, but not something that would make or break my plan.
Gorgeous writing!
Experience during and after heartbreak is unique to the feeler and chasing the elusive Happiness sensation can be futile.
Feeling happy will be in those tiny pieces that you must recognise, aloud if you want to! I’ve lived alone for 25 years and didn’t meet the right person until I was 40.
We still didn’t live together for 7 more years and for me, driving home to my clean white cosy cottage from his chaotic untidy house was a feeling of aaaaahhhh lovely.
Freedom is absolutely delicious. Love & connection don’t only arrive with a romantic partner, self love fills your soul & changes you. This life wisdom you gain also adds to your story and look at all of us in this thread, we’ve all experienced it.
And then ironically you’ll probably meet someone right when you’re at your most fulfilled 😁 but you’re a new version of yourself now and that shifts everything.
A new chapter begins.
"Loneliness is an illusion because the truth is we're always alone." I respectfully disagree. Since I was sixteen (I'm now sixty-nine) I've NEVER been alone, choosing at a young age to find and fill the hole in my soul. Sure there have been ups and downs, endless joys and many disappointments - but never loneliness. "Search and you will find, ask and it shall be given to you!" Let me know if I can help...
Meaningful connection is key. Having a partner does not guarantee this. It takes courage search for this type of connection, for someone who wants it as much as you do, but if you find it, this is the ultimate prize.
This is so well written! - tearing up, brb, ♥️♥️♥️
what a lovely coffee rdv we had on vday 🧡
Indeed ❤️