A beautiful post Jessica. You ask for any tips on riding the guilt and I think the most powerful tip is gratitude and compassion.
Gratitude that we now understand that rest is a human need and you don’t need to deserve it. We are human beings- not human doings.
Being is enough.
Compassion as we’re not to blame for the guilt and anxiety. So we need to have compassion for it. Modern living fools us into believing that we need to push through and it’s grounded in capitalism and patriarchy.
Luckily many of us are waking up and aware of this as part of our current mental health crisis.
Resting is a form of rebellion as we’re taking back what’s ours.
What does rest actually look like? It seems a ridiculous question…but I’m not actually sure. I’m not sure if it is sleep, reading, watching something, journaling…sometimes I try those things and I just feel like it doesn’t reset me.
I agree with Helen lovely that it absolutely isn’t ridiculous, and I’d reframe it as what a beautiful path this will be for you to learn what your version of rest looks like. Feeling wise, I’d say rest feels like peace and an exhale - how that ‘looks’ is up to you <3 If those things aren’t doing it for you, I’d suggest trying other things but letting your intuition guide you. It can look however you want it to xx
It’s absolutely not ridiculous, just the state of the times we find ourselves in, that we don’t know what rest should look like…that we think there is a way rest should look. I’ve found that it can look like anything you want it too, you just have to embrace that thing as restful. Surrender to it. (Ugh, so difficult) Sometimes I lie down and read, or watch tv, sometimes I ride my bike or take a walk, sometimes I listen to 5 minutes of wave sounds on my lunch break, all are restful for me, in different ways, depending on the situation and state of my nervous system. Do you think there is a wrong way to rest? Could you be striving too hard to rest?
I don’t think there’s a wrong way no, and I think rest is more layered than we think. Like there are levels. Sometimes we can only access certain levels whereas others we can go deeper. I’ve found it takes time and practice and totally agree with you about the times we live in xx
Also check out Katherine May’s recent substack post about what she has learned from rest from her podcast…I don’t know how to link it here… I’m sure you’ll find it easily enough. Lots of excellent points x
Amazing article! After 12+ years working from home, living the laptop lifestyle, sometimes working 12+ hours easily, sometime I do long nights, just because I feel the energy... and sometimes I do only 2 things a day...
And I still felt the need to pretend that I'm busy the other day, when my brother suddenly visited in the middle of the day, so I don't get the snorky comment that 'I am not doing anything' 🤦🏻♀️😂🤷♀️
I’m learning to listen to my body and rest when it’s telling me to. It’s hard to let go of that internal guilt you feel when it’s telling you to go go go but honestly listening to what my body needs is so important. Hoping I get better with this and stop feeling bad for the down time and embrace it more. Lovely post thank you for sharing and inspiring people to slow down.
Love this post, I used to wear stress and busyness like a badge of honour, it’s what is modelled for us. The biggest thing that has helped me I think is just giving myself way more time to do things, I never over schedule things, I always think of how it’s going to feel, whether that time frame will make me feel rushed and stressed, how much time I’ll need to do it at an easy pace, if I will have enough energy for it. So many people think in terms of time and if they can fit it in but I try to think in terms of energy and I end up doing a lot less but enjoy the things I do a lot more. I see regulating my nervous system as one of the most important things I can do for myself and for those around me.
I think rest is a responsibility. There are absolutely times when we need to show up and work hard, but there are also times when we need to stop, reflect and rebalance. I like to think of it as making sure we’re still on the right track, and being able to change course when we need to. Rest is a skill and I loved the post!
I think being able to rest also comes with the feeling of being secure and clear about what we want in our lives. I find it difficult to rest (mentally and emotionally, not just physically) when I'm so unsure of where I'm headed in life or what I want to do vs. what I should be doing.
It IS a lot of guilt, but I know this has all been built into me from how I was raised.
Can we truly rest while knowing the end of our stories are still being written each and every day?
A beautiful post Jessica. You ask for any tips on riding the guilt and I think the most powerful tip is gratitude and compassion.
Gratitude that we now understand that rest is a human need and you don’t need to deserve it. We are human beings- not human doings.
Being is enough.
Compassion as we’re not to blame for the guilt and anxiety. So we need to have compassion for it. Modern living fools us into believing that we need to push through and it’s grounded in capitalism and patriarchy.
Luckily many of us are waking up and aware of this as part of our current mental health crisis.
Resting is a form of rebellion as we’re taking back what’s ours.
I love every word of this. Thank you so much for sharing with us 🙏🏼✨
I have always loved going to bed. I have never felt the need to stay up late because it is the weekend. If home I am happily in bed.
Oh how I love my bed too 🤍🤍
Jessica, this reads like permission written with care.
You don’t argue for rest, you make it feel inhabited, lived, trustworthy.
The way you frame it as a relationship rather than a reward is quietly radical, and deeply kind.
This will linger with people long after they close the page. 🤍
🙏🏼🤍✨
What does rest actually look like? It seems a ridiculous question…but I’m not actually sure. I’m not sure if it is sleep, reading, watching something, journaling…sometimes I try those things and I just feel like it doesn’t reset me.
I agree with Helen lovely that it absolutely isn’t ridiculous, and I’d reframe it as what a beautiful path this will be for you to learn what your version of rest looks like. Feeling wise, I’d say rest feels like peace and an exhale - how that ‘looks’ is up to you <3 If those things aren’t doing it for you, I’d suggest trying other things but letting your intuition guide you. It can look however you want it to xx
Thank you Jessica - I’ll concentrate on the feeling of peace ✨
It’s absolutely not ridiculous, just the state of the times we find ourselves in, that we don’t know what rest should look like…that we think there is a way rest should look. I’ve found that it can look like anything you want it too, you just have to embrace that thing as restful. Surrender to it. (Ugh, so difficult) Sometimes I lie down and read, or watch tv, sometimes I ride my bike or take a walk, sometimes I listen to 5 minutes of wave sounds on my lunch break, all are restful for me, in different ways, depending on the situation and state of my nervous system. Do you think there is a wrong way to rest? Could you be striving too hard to rest?
I don’t think there’s a wrong way no, and I think rest is more layered than we think. Like there are levels. Sometimes we can only access certain levels whereas others we can go deeper. I’ve found it takes time and practice and totally agree with you about the times we live in xx
Thank you so much Helen. I think you are right - I’m probably trying a bit too hard and possibly expecting a bit too much!
Also check out Katherine May’s recent substack post about what she has learned from rest from her podcast…I don’t know how to link it here… I’m sure you’ll find it easily enough. Lots of excellent points x
I love what Jessica said about this being a beautiful journey of discovery for you. Go gently 🩷
Amazing article! After 12+ years working from home, living the laptop lifestyle, sometimes working 12+ hours easily, sometime I do long nights, just because I feel the energy... and sometimes I do only 2 things a day...
And I still felt the need to pretend that I'm busy the other day, when my brother suddenly visited in the middle of the day, so I don't get the snorky comment that 'I am not doing anything' 🤦🏻♀️😂🤷♀️
I’m learning to listen to my body and rest when it’s telling me to. It’s hard to let go of that internal guilt you feel when it’s telling you to go go go but honestly listening to what my body needs is so important. Hoping I get better with this and stop feeling bad for the down time and embrace it more. Lovely post thank you for sharing and inspiring people to slow down.
“Resting doesn’t mean our dreams disappear, it means our dreams are being held gently until they’re ready”.
Love this 💗
🤍✨
Thank you for this. Needed to be said, written, communicated!
Love this post, I used to wear stress and busyness like a badge of honour, it’s what is modelled for us. The biggest thing that has helped me I think is just giving myself way more time to do things, I never over schedule things, I always think of how it’s going to feel, whether that time frame will make me feel rushed and stressed, how much time I’ll need to do it at an easy pace, if I will have enough energy for it. So many people think in terms of time and if they can fit it in but I try to think in terms of energy and I end up doing a lot less but enjoy the things I do a lot more. I see regulating my nervous system as one of the most important things I can do for myself and for those around me.
I think rest is a responsibility. There are absolutely times when we need to show up and work hard, but there are also times when we need to stop, reflect and rebalance. I like to think of it as making sure we’re still on the right track, and being able to change course when we need to. Rest is a skill and I loved the post!
I think being able to rest also comes with the feeling of being secure and clear about what we want in our lives. I find it difficult to rest (mentally and emotionally, not just physically) when I'm so unsure of where I'm headed in life or what I want to do vs. what I should be doing.
It IS a lot of guilt, but I know this has all been built into me from how I was raised.
Can we truly rest while knowing the end of our stories are still being written each and every day?