Things I stopped doing to live a slower simpler life

Your opposite of a to do list inspiration

Hello you!

My goodness do I hate the feeling of busy. I think I hate this feeling more than any other. It’s overwhelming, soul crushing and disorientating. Having said that, in a routinely overpacked programmed life - simplifying and slowing down can feel impossible. I remember.

I used to look at slow living accounts and dream of a life like the ones they painted, whilst simultaneously convincing myself I didn’t have time, this was a fantasy and real life was stopping me. A quiet peaceful life wasn’t for the likes of me, I’d repeat in my head. And yet, still the dream persisted until I couldn’t ignore it and began to make my own lifestyle changes.

The good news is a simpler more intentional life doesn’t come from doing more. It comes from doing less. That doesn’t mean it’s easy. It requires a lot of self-love, acceptance and compassion. Doing less can be a lot harder than doing more, but with practice it becomes the relief we crave. Pockets of time appear from nowhere and stresses begin to melt away. We connect to the stillness underneath that always - just is.

Consumerism and capitalism has us convinced the answer is more. More stuff, more information, awareness and it leaves us in a constant state of striving. Master a mindset of less and it all becomes so clear.

Here’s what I stopped doing. The opposite of a to do list I guess. They’re personal to me, but I’m hoping it gives you a little inspiration and nudges you to think about what you can stop doing too. How exciting what you could do with the time you free up. This is where the magic happens.

Saying yes without thinking it through - ok so this one I will admit I’m still working on and arguably this is the most important item on the list. Master the art of no and you will regain control of your entire life. It’s a process and we’re all in it together.

Cooking a variety of meals - when I tell people I eat the same thing every day they usually freak out. Then they ask a lot of questions or tell me my behaviour is problematic, that they could never. I understand this reaction and I’m used to it. When you choose to live a life radically on your terms even if that goes against the status quo you will inevitably rattle other people, because your choices act as a mirror to their own choices. I know now it’s nothing to do with me and everything to do with them, so it’s easy to let go of the judgement I feel being hurled at me. You do you and I’ll do me is a simple but engrained life motto of mine. I have struggled with food since I was a child and simplifying it has helped me learn to cook, shop and enjoy mealtimes.

Working full time - A four day work week is my ideal. It doesn’t always happen this way but I have no intentions of working full time. Less money is fine. I’m happy to make adjustments. Rest and free time are the bedrock of a more meaningful and fulfilling life. There is no financial equivalent. For me, freedom will always be real wealth and when I’m wandering around the Jardin Du Luxembourg with a coffee and a book in hand to settle down with for the afternoon, I feel like the richest girl in the world.

Accumulating debt - I committed to this choice in my 20s and it’s perhaps the best decision of my adult life so far. I wrote down my total number of debt, vowed not to take on anymore and became obsessed with reducing the amount to zero (with exception of my mortgage at the time). A debt free life gave me freedom.

Striving for a bigger more expensive home - My 25sqm studio is small yes, but it’s just right for me as a singleton living in Paris and until I’m living with someone I have no need for more space. Sure I’d love to pique pirouette around a spacious Parisian apartment but the exchange simply isn’t worth it for me. I also chose not to own a home in favour of renting and investing, which is a whole other topic I can dive into another day.

Driving - wow what a difference this made to my life. Not owning a car is one of the reasons I could afford to live in Paris. Drafting my new life budget when I decided to move was so exciting without the cost of running a car in the UK.

Buying things impulsively - for me to buy anything these days takes a lot of thought. I keep a carefully curated wishlist note on my phone as an anchor and of course there are replacements I know I need in that moment but for anything new waiting even just 24 hours before committing to buy makes a huge difference.

Following accounts that give me negative feelings - I’ve deleted entire social media platforms because they made me feel bad (looking at you TikTok and Twitter), but on the ones I chose to engage with (Instagram and YouTube and now Substack) I am a careful curator of my feed. Muting is your best friend if you don’t want to offend someone but in general choose accounts that give you the feelings you’re looking to cultivate, whether that be peace, love, inspiration, hope or gratitude. We create what we consume and our subconscious is constantly inhaling information that form our self-beliefs, thoughts, feelings and eventually behaviours.

Multitasking - we’re designed to do one thing at a time and yet we expect the supernatural of ourselves. Trying to multitask is a complete waste of energy. The only time I incorporate multitasking is when I’m looking to stack habits for example, reciting positive affirmations in the mirror while I’m doing my skincare routines or listening to an audiobook on a walk, but being purely present with the one thing you’re choosing to do will always amplify it’s value and impact. I like to give myself as little to do as possible - guilt free!

Watching tv - again, one that freaks people out. I don’t own a tv and have no plan to buy one. If I want to watch something I do so with intention on my laptop. My relationship with tv wasn’t always this way and changed a lot when I became single, which I respect makes living the life you want to live a lot easier and I can write about the differences I noticed when I was married vs divorced if you’d like.

Rushing / Over scheduling - This was a clean identity shift I made. I tell myself on a daily basis as part of my positive affirmation routine that I am someone who doesn’t rush. If I miss a metro, I miss it - I’ll catch the next. I walk slowly and I take my time, because this is who I want to be and no person or cultural norm is going to shift me away from my future vision for both myself and my life (emergency aside of course).

Is there anything you’ve stop doing on your slow living journey? Anything you’d like to stop doing?

Lots of love

Jessica xxx

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