Hello you!
It happened again. Last year it was when I drove past the house with the pink door in the Cotswolds and this weekend there on my front garden on a sunny July evening, my vision board came true. Hollie and I were laid in the exact same position as the two girls I screenshotted from Pinterest way back in January and the moment I’d dreamed of and ached for was real. I took a photo because I couldn’t not.
I chose the photo of two girls laid on the bed because I thought it represented what I want more of in my life - close friendship. I was fantasising of course, but that’s what vision boards are for isn’t it. I was picturing the kind of friendship that pops up in a Sally Rooney book or Dolly Alderton story. When it comes to vision boards I always choose what action I think it’s going to take to get the end result because I know this is where the real work lies in getting what we want. End results don’t just happen without the struggle. In this case it was intimacy, gentle vulnerability to deepen a connection between souls who want good things for one another, see each other for who they are, accept this and support one another no matter what.
I’m weirdly more open online and in my book than I am with my friends in real life. Why this is I have no idea. I’m open to suggestions if you have any to offer. I pledged to change this tendency to withdraw and mask myself from those I love this year, to allow myself to be seen. No more I’m oks when I’m not, no more masking for fear of being abandoned or rejected, no more holding back on what I really want my friends to know about me and no more trying to fix all their problems with a magic wand instead of sitting with them in their pain and discomfort and asking the same of them in return.
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