Right place, right time
Capturing the feeling of being exactly where you’re meant to be right now
Hello you!
I’m back from my holiday in Ibiza with my best friend and I can’t remember the last time I felt this happy, truly. When we were walking down the beach from our hotel one night I had one of those moments where I wanted to take a metal photo with my eyes so I could keep it forever. I told Liam I was experiencing one of those special instances you return to when someone asks what your happiest memory or day of your life was. I stopped walking so I could savour every essence of it, the sound of the sea, the soft evening light, the sight of my friend who only a year ago was sat listening to how I didn’t want to be here anymore, and the feeling of serendipity.
For the first time in my life I actually feel like I’m in the right place at the right time doing the things I’m supposed to do. My favourite question to ask right now is how old do you feel? The variety of answers fascinate me. I keep joking that I feel 22 on the inside but on a serious note I finally feel like a 34 year old single child free woman living the life I’m meant to. Serendepity is everywhere for me right now. I feel very little inner conflict but this is all very new. I’ve walked across hot coals to get here and it definitely hasn’t always been this way.
For the entirety of my twenties I felt torn, as if something was off but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Looking back it was a feeling of disconnection - from myself, from others and my life. I’ve always done things differently to everyone else, I can’t help that about myself but I didn’t feel peaceful with my being different during this time like I do now. I bought my first house age 20, married young at 22 and then lived a very traditional married couple kind of life, full of adventure and all the tick boxes we’re conditioned to want in life were ticked. I had a mortgage, a retirement account, a nice car that was paid for and a job that sounded good when I was asked what I did for a living at parties. Still I didn’t feel settled on the inside. Still I wanted more.
I didn’t want more of the material things. I wanted more of the non physical things. I wanted more freedom, more connection and purpose. I wanted to do things I didn’t feel I could like spend time with friends and run free in Ibiza. I wanted to chase after my creative dreams. These are all very normal 20 something things to do but they felt out of reach to me. I always felt as though I was missing out and the life I wanted, however wonderful it sounded, wasn’t for someone like me. It was as though I wanted to create my own reality but I didn’t know how or whether I was capable.
The problem is the longer you carry on down the wrong path the harder it feels to turn around. You’ve come this far you think, so you may as well carry on. You feel trapped by the financial side of life, long term commitments or just the mundane routine. Throw in children and you just went up another few gears - but it doesn’t have to be this way. It’s never too late to start living the life you want as opposed to the life you think you should.
I don’t believe we have as much choice as we think when it comes to living the life we’re destined for. Our subconscious, the part of mind we’re unaware of most of the time, is constantly waving a flag trying to get our attention and guide us to be the best versions of ourselves so we can thrive in life. When you’re off kilter, frustrated with life, resentful of your partner or job this is your intuition trying to tell you something and it’s important to listen. If you don’t you’ll find yourself continuing down the wrong path and that resentment will come out sideways.
Only you know what your path is and if you ask the right questions you will find the answers in time. It’s never too late to change course. This doesn’t have to be done over night, it can be done one step at a time. Open yourself up to things, pay attention, stop sleep walking through it all and follow what feels right, what you intuitively feel called to do. Have faith that you’re worthy and the universe is going to provide for you. Nothing is out of reach and I genuinely believe that for all of us.
Finally feeling like I’m in the right place at the right time in my life has made me realise how obvious it is when we're not in the right place and how distinctly we know. We owe it to ourselves and those we love to pay attention to this. Otherwise we’re always going to be in conflict with ourselves and this discomfort is trying to tell us something. It might not always feel like it but we already have all the answers inside, if we just listen. So yes I do currently feel 22 again on the inside, and I plan on embracing every single second of all the energy and opportunities this is giving me. It wasn’t too long ago I was having thoughts that I didn’t want to be here anymore because of how much pain I was in and now I’m not only excited about life again, I can’t wait for the rest to unfold.
Lots of love
Jessica xxx
What’s been adding value this week
Every word of this post from inspired to write set my soul on fire
If you fancy a trip to Ibiza I can’t recommend where we stayed enough
I’ve followed your YouTube channel from the start and I’ve watched you go through some really tough times. To see you in this place now, and to hear you realise and acknowledge it, it’s been a long time coming. You were always deserving of love and happiness, no matter what you thought, and if anyone couldn’t give it to you, that’s a reflection on them, not you. You deserve to be happy! 💕
I really resonated with what you wrote here Jess.
This whole year, something has felt off for me even though I’ve “ticked all the boxes” as you’ve said. I’ve been exploring this feeling and am still working on it.
Ibiza looked fun and am glad you had a good time 💕