Hello you!
It’s easy to feel happy when you’re in Paris for a month. For romantic creatives it’s the equivalent of Disneyland. All I have to do is walk around my local neighbourhood and I’m flooded with beautiful architecture, people watching opportunities and some of the best macrons in the world. There’s a flip side though. Parisians are unhappy with Paris. They moan about the metro, how busy they find the city, high prices, they’re tired of dating apps and they feel people here are unfriendly. Of course I’ve had moments of sadness while I’ve been here too, that’s life wherever we are no matter our circumstances. So what’s the answer? We have to create happiness through gratitude and presence. It’s always there, sometimes easier to find than others but we always have access to a little magic if we just put in some effort.
This week I wanted to share a few of my favourite inexpensive ways to create magic in your everyday and ask you to add to these ideas so we can all feast on a directory whenever we feel the need. Parisians have no problem leaning into pleasure and it’s inspiring, they expect it even - which is why they have no problem complaining or setting high standards. Treats are a daily occurrence here; life is to be enjoyed.
Buy fresh flowers - finding local flower sellers and choosing a few blooms to bring home with me has become a weekend ritual I look forward to. Seeing a slice of nature in my apartment, the way the blooms change colour, open up and look different as the light changes hour to hour makes me smile every day for the rest of the week.
Go outside - perhaps the easiest and most accessible of all. In nature is ideal but not essential. Being outside is good for us on every level because it reduces stress, slows our heart rate and eases muscle tension. Personally I love how being outside makes me feel small too, like I’m part of something so much bigger and all the worries in my own life are insignificant in comparison to the rest of the world.
Read a book - whatever your literary tastes there’s always joy to be found in a book. It could be another world to immerse yourself in, characters to fall in love with or an opportunity to learn something new. Reading slows down time and shifts us into a state of mindfulness.
Connect with another - My word of the year is connection so of course this is on my list. Reaching out to existing friends and family who make you feel home, loved and supported is always a good idea. In turn it’s always good to check in with how someone else is doing too, how they're really doing and taking the time to listen to them. Both of you will feel less alone.
Give back - random acts of kindness come in all shapes and sizes but they always feel good for both parties. Help people where you can, find ways to share what you have whether that’s tangible or not and you’ll open yourself up to feeling better as a result.
Let yourself dream - I’ve lost count of how many hours I spend in my own fantasy world, dreaming of things I want to do, create or achieve. I used to feel guilty, silly even for my tendency to dream but these hours are never a waste of time because they open up my world and remind me what’s possible. Dreams give us something to feel excited about, look forward to and live for.
Be grateful - gratitude is the gateway to joy. When we think about what we’re grateful for our whole mindset shifts. Try to be as specific as possible for the most impact. Sure we can feel grateful the sun is shining today but feeling grateful for the way a stranger smiled at us or our partner makes our morning coffee just the way we like it adds depth to the emotion.
Immerse yourself in senses - take a few moments to press pause and feel everything around you. After a few deep breaths ask yourself what can you see? Hear? Taste? Smell? Touch? Count five of each and appreciate each one. Notice the way they make you feel.
Do something you loved as a child - watching Disney films? Drawing? Making people out of felt pipe cleaners? What we loved doing when we were kids rarely leaves us and often holds the key to the creativity that feeds us. Allow yourself to travel back to those simple days when you were curious and playful without fear of what others might think.
Take yourself on a date - oh the possibilities with this one! Earlier this week I took myself on a Valentine’s date and it was sublime. I sat on my favourite fountain in Paris (place saint Sulpice) and devoured an entire box of macrons before washing them down with a hot cup of tea. When it got to 6pm the church bells rang out and I watched the light fade away as night set in. Again, I know Paris makes romancing yourself like this easy but there are lots of different ways to create a little romance in our lives.
These things don’t have to be big, they don’t have to be grand gestures, they can be free, but they all centre around one thing - being kind to yourself.
Lots of love
Jessica xxx
Such a lovely post, and one that resonates with me at the moment. I've realised the effort that I can put in to creating a perfect moment for an image for an Instagram story and wondering why I don't give myself such moments of consideration. Romanticising moments of our own lives can go a long way towards reinforcing feelings of worthiness for our own happiness. I'm an early bird and love the quiet morning watching the sun rise, taking time to plate breakfast, lunch and dinner in an Insta worthy way, turning the music up and dancing around in the Winter sunshine, coffee and croissants in my favourite bakery, book in hand to disguise the fact that I'm watching and listening in on all the conversations happening around me. Thank you for posting this today, it was just what I needed to read, to remind myself of those little kindnesses.
Clarissa Pinkola Estés calls it returning home in her book Women that run with Wolves. An activity or a place, moment in the day that we can contemplate and go deep in our inner self. I feel really happy when I garden, paint, watch the sunset or the sunrise. Listen to the rain, hear a baby laugh, or simply have a long quiet breakfast.